When is something too much?

I was challenged this week on whether my recent focus on fitness and nutrition will get to a point where it is comprimising other pleasures in life.

It's a good question. I've seen people become obsessive and had the same question for others. There is a fine line with working persistently toward a goal and great health and becoming so fixated it becomes an addiction and rattles the all important "balance".

At the moment, I am using the following as my gage:

• Am I still making time for my friends and family?



• Can I have a conversation about things other than fitness and health? (this one is a little shakey at the moment :) )



• Am I so fixated on food that I don't actually enjoy it?



• Are any other priorities in my life that are being comprimised?

With this being a completely new realm for me, I'd be curious if others have input on when a passion for fitness or working toward a goal crosses the line into unhealthiness.

Once you get a groove, it's just so hard not to want more!

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Where Does Happiness Come From?

I read a NYT story this weekend on the source of happiness and an overall movement toward simplification, which got me thinking about where happiness comes from for me personally.

The past few months have been an interesting time of reflection on this question. I've made a lot of changes, and with that I've been able to see what is truly important. I've asked myself- if my material world fell apart, what would I be left with?

Thankfully, I have the greatest answer anyone could ask for. My family is strong, loving and supportive. I have amazing friends who I spend countless hours laughing with. My health is good and I have the drive to maintain a strong commitment to fitness, nutrition and general wellness. I've been blessed with the courage to take on hard things and know where to find my strength to get through it, even though it's not easy.

So many times I think we lose appreciation for what's truly important. I know I have. It's not that we aren't grateful for these things, but perhaps we aren't extracting the full joy and happiness that they offer.

Yes, shoes can bring some happiness- I have a whole closet to prove it. But the interesting question is- if the shoes were gone, what would be left?


NYT Article- http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/08/business/08consume.html?_r=3&pagewanted=all

Besides Unicorns, Exercise is the Most Magical Thing I Know

This past February, I reignited my commitment to fitness. I've always had some form of exercise in my life, but the level of commitment has been spotty based on the demands of my work. And many of us know how it goes when you fall out of a routine... maybe I'll go tomorrow...

Well, tomorrow arrived. A friend of mine talked me into going to a bootcamp studio she and her husband own. I was completely intimidated by the idea, but decided to make the leap anyway.

I'll be honest- it was rough. I thought I was going to throw up. My heart was about to leap out of my chest. I gave up a million times and felt frustrated by the depletion of my fitness level.

But... I also felt super good after it was done and had fun, so I decided to go back.

The role this has played in my life has been nothing short of magical. I'll start with the vanity piece- for the first time in my life I am getting definition to my tummy, a battle I thought I would never win over the super pooch! I am pretty sure if I keep at it, Justin Timberlake will be calling me for one of his videos after hearing about my abs of steel! ;-)

Jokes aside, I will be honest I'm proud of the results I've seen with my body. It's nice to finally fit into the skinny clothes again after a painfully long stretch.

BUT.... more importantly, I have come to a new level of appreciation for the mental benefits of exercise. I have made a lot of recent changes in my life that have intensified the stress level. Having something to balance it out is critical.

I quickly realized that after each class the magic had worked on my brain- the worries of the day melted away, I was smiling and with other people who were smiling, high fiving and bonding over the shared torture (I mean experience! :) ).

While fitting into smaller clothes is nice, having an outlet that creates joy, confidence, community and melts of the stress we accumulate is INVALUABLE.

If you've fallen off the wagon, believe me, it's worth the short term struggle to get back on.

If you're interested in bootcamp, visit www.bootcampresults.com

My JT video should be out someday soon too ;-) (a girl can dream!)

Reinvention

A good friend of mine called me Rachel today. Given the evolution I am going through, I think its actually appropriate to take a new name. So Rachel it is!

In all seriousness, I am continuing to be invigorated by a groundswell of people having the courage to pursue their heart and reinvent themselves. I met with someone this afternoon who made the leap and he was beaming. I mentioned to him that I am seeing more and more of this and he asked if I think its generational. I'm really starting to think it is. I think my age group (which will remain unidentified!) is willing to take risks to find joy, happiness and health. It is a super scary decision to make, but I can wholeheartedly say it is worth it.

So... my challenge to whomever may be reading this.... are you listening to your heart? I guarantee it has the wisest voice you'll ever hear and if you follow its guidance, you won't be disappointed. You just have to drop the fear and dial up the optimism. Go for it! The only thing you have to lose is your self ;-) No biggie. Most of us lose that at several points in our lives anyway so take a risk!

Fear... What is it good for...

Absolutely nothing!

Ok, not entirely true. I have been grappling with fear the past several weeks and really seeing how prevalent it is in so many people's lives (and how much people use it to base their decision making process, which is not a great filter). I've also seen where it serves us and where it doesn't.

I have made a very conscious decision to put it aside and am amazed how great things are without it. Same circumstances, but without the stress and a lot more emotional space to for passion and excitement. It's so much more healthy and productive.

That said, a little fear isn't too bad. In my case, it has helped motivate me to get out and talk to lots of people. But without proper management, it could be completely paralyzing and lead to self fulfilling prophecies.

So it's good for something, but has to be put in it's place.

2010- If we build it...

The symbolic turning of the new year and decade has completely energized me. I've had lots of coffee dates over the past few weeks and am hearing an unanimous cry for something new and inspired. We saw a first glimpse of this with the Obama campaign. His rally for change and hope tapped what I believe people have been seeking for quite some time. There was excitement in the air.

But with the realities of what it takes to make change (time!), it feels like this inspiration has fizzled over the past year. So here we are again, waiting for an inspirational moment in the world. Hoping to have more meaning in our work. Wishing corporate America had more heart. Looking for more simplicity. And an interesting gravitation toward health and wellness.

My challenge to myself and those around me is to keep up the desire to have an amazing year (and decade). If we build it, it will happen. So this requires everyone to have a positive attitude. To keep an optimistic eye on what we dream of. To ask the universe for what we want. To share with one another and collaborate around healthy things. To laugh. To brainstorm. To dream. To abandon fear and make room for the belief that everything is going to be amazing.

I know this borders cheesy, but I truly believe if we all stay inspired and relentless about having a great year, we will.

So let's do it! Here's to 2010 and deeming the next decade the inspired age.

New Canvas!

With the coming of the new year/decade, I have the exciting opportunity to pursue different passions. At first I was incredibly nervous. What if I don't find a new job? What do I do with all my time?

It's been an interesting few weeks trying to figure out who I am without my daily job. But it's opening my eyes to what really lights my fire. Children. Education. Business development. Local business. Portland. Connecting with people. Creating new communities of people. Yoga. Health and wellness. Nutrition. Family. Giving. Laughter.

Where will this all lead me? I'm so excited to find out! I have a feeling 2010 is going to be the start of an amazing next chapter of my life and I can't wait to see how it unfolds!

Unsettled

Last night Marlon and I were getting on I-5 by the Rose Quarter to head home for the evening. Within seconds, we heard a loud crash behind us. We’d just missed being in a major accident by inches. I couldn’t understand why the sudden pile up and looked over to see a police car that had stopped traffic suddenly which led to this series of rear endings.

The officer was standing over the body of homeless man who was on the edge of the freeway. He was just sitting with his body slumped over.... not moving. I’m not sure if he was alive. The image was extremely startling. It shook me more than the accident behind us.

How does life get so bad you are slumped over on the side of the freeway?

I’m feeling both broken hearted and unsettled. Not sure what to do, but I will be doing something, that is for certain.

Getting Unstuck

Pema Chodron, an amazing Buddhist nun, deeply, deeply inspires me. She has an acute sensitivity and understanding for the human experience. And she's real, not just rhetoric. She has an incredible sense of humor and is very much attached to reality. You can tell she has lived through the types of experiences she describes, either directly or indirectly.

I've been listening to her speak on a CD called Getting Unstuck, which she also wrote a book with this title. In the portion I listened to tonight, she addressed people's habitual tendency to close down. There is a Buddhist term she used for what pulls the trigger- Shenpa, described as follows:

"Shenpa is the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down. We get hooked in that moment of tightening when we reach for relief."

She notes we reach for relief in many ways- whether alcohol, self medicating, eating, being critical of others, being critical of ourselves, shopping, or many of the other creative ways we use to escape the uncomfortable moment. We all have our methods :)

Over time, this becomes our habit and common reaction. We program ourselves to react this way in our effort to find relief (or temporary relief). I know for me my reactions are often an undesired state, but I don't know how to change them so they just keep repeating.

Her solution- be in the moment.

"To get unhooked we begin by recognizing that moment of unease and learn to relax in that moment."

So essentially, identify it is happening and then be with it. It seems like a self intervention of sorts. Realize its happening and then relax with what is happening.

This will not change it overnight. We have to do it over and over and over again. But then we reprogram and we start to empower what she calls our "wisdom guide," which is our own mind. I love that!

I'm still trying to get my arms around all this, but the concept of Shenpa, getting unstuck and having our own inner "wisdom guide" is very interesting to me. As I learn more I'll share.

In the meantime, if you want to read more, see...
http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1610&Itemid=247

And there is also the book and CD- both titled Getting Unstuck.

Excerpt from above piece by Chodron:

The Tibetan word for this is shenpa. It is usually translated "attachment," but a more descriptive translation might be "hooked." When shenpa hooks us, we're likely to get stuck. We could call shenpa "that sticky feeling." It's an everyday experience. Even a spot on your new sweater can take you there. At the subtlest level, we feel a tightening, a tensing, a sense of closing down.

Then we feel a sense of withdrawing, not wanting to be where we are. That's the hooked quality. That tight feeling has the power to hook us into self-denigration, blame, anger, jealousy and other emotions which lead to words and actions that end up poisoning us.

Remember the fairy tale in which toads hop out of the princess's mouth whenever she starts to say mean words? That's how being hooked can feel. Yet we don't stop—we can't stop—because we're in the habit of associating whatever we're doing with relief from our own discomfort. This is the shenpa syndrome. The word "attachment" doesn't quite translate what's happening. It's a quality of experience that's not easy to describe but which everyone knows well. Shenpa is usually involuntary and it gets right to the root of why we suffer.

Someone looks at us in a certain way, or we hear a certain song, we smell a certain smell, we walk into a certain room and boom. The feeling has nothing to do with the present, and nevertheless, there it is.

Shenpa thrives on the underlying insecurity of living in a world that is always changing. We experience this insecurity as a background of slight unease or restlessness. We all want some kind of relief from that unease, so we turn to what we enjoy—food, alcohol, drugs, sex, work or shopping. In moderation what we enjoy might be very delightful. We can appreciate its taste and its presence in our life. But when we empower it with the idea that it will bring us comfort, that it will remove our unease, we get hooked.

Love, Anger and the Immune System

I'm reading a book about highly sensitive people. In case you haven't noticed, I am one :)

More on that later.

I just read an interesting bit on the effects of the exposure of love and anger on the immune system. A Harvard scientist named David Mclelland conducted a research study which showed watching anger-provoking movies suppressed the immune system (measured by chemicals in the saliva) for five to six hours in the subjects. On the flip side, watching the compassionate work of Mother Teresa caused elevation of the immune system levels.

Clear evidence that we must manage our exposure to stress for the sake of our health. Not surprising, but the physiological evidence always has a greater impact on my motivation to take things more seriously.

So I am off to find movies about Mother Teresa, butterflies and unicorns.
Have a lovely day!

This Lousy World, by Pema Chodron

This was exactly what I needed today :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buTrsK_ZkvA

Gluten-Free

Wow! It has been a while. Gotta pick the pace back up.

I was inspired to write tonight by some delicious gluten-free cookies I discovered. The brand is "The Craving's Place" which I found at New Seasons (you mix & bake). Chocolate Chunk... yum!

So why gluten-free? A couple years ago my acupuncturist mentioned gluten can create a wet towel effect in the intestines. This past year I read a book called "The Mood Cure" which discusses how to regulate emotions and energy with food and amino acids. She outlines several bad mood foods, including gluten (gluten= flour, wheat, oats, barley and rye).

What's the issue? "Gluten (think glue) can irritate, inflame and rupture the lining of the digestive tract, to the point that the nutrients of food don't get absorbed well (or sometimes at all)." This in turn disrupts digestion and can cause malnutrition. She maps back to all kinds of problems- from digestive to headaches, depression and colon cancer. Eek!

I tested giving them up and very quickly felt like a new person. My stomach and intestines felt lighter. My digestion was better. My skin improved GREATLY. And I had more energy.

When I eat now (yes, I sneak) I get a terrible stomach ache and my skin sometimes is impacted.

It's been very interesting. I'm definitely glad to be gluten-free. But do sneak a piece of bread or slice of pizza... it's worth the pain from time to time. :)

The good news is I am discovering more and more options, so sneaking may not be necessary soon.

If you are interested in the book, see:
http://www.amazon.com/Mood-Cure-4-Step-Program-Emotions-Today/dp/0142003646/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251872585&sr=8-1

And if you want gluten-free recommendations, let me know. I also love recommendations so please pass along!

Aging

Last week I discovered a small wrinkle above my eyebrow. Over the past few months, more greys have been creeping in and what I thought were big freckles I think are age spots. And as much as I like to ignore it, gravity is taking hold.

I was getting pretty freaked out at first. It's all come on so sudden. Clearly I've reached a turning point and things are just going to start changing no matter how much I exercise, eat well and try and reduce stress.

The more I've thought about it, I'm realizing there is such a small window for our "youth"/"prime", but the majority of our lives (if we live an average lifespan) is riddled with greys, wrinkles and sags.

So considering we spend most of our time in this state, I think we need to start embracing it as beautiful and the new "prime". Why live with such anxiety over the progression nature has in store for us? Why place such a high premium on a portion of our lives that is so short in comparison to the larger part of our existence?

Gravity rules!

Today marks a very special day in my life- 5 years of sobriety! I can hardly believe it. In many ways it has flown by, and in others it seems a lifetime ago. It's hard to relate to that chapter of my life anymore. I was reflecting over the weekend about how much my life has changed. This involved major anxiety over some of the crazy decisions I made, followed by immense gratitude for being able to pull through and be in such a healthy position today.

I am eternally grateful toward having such amazing, supportive people in my life. My friends and family have played a significant role in helping encourage me along in my path to health and happiness. I am truly blessed.

Here’s to health!

Being Uncomfortable

My yoga instructor shared a great quote today...

"If you can learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, no one can steal your peace."

Something I continue to work on... how to be in the moment, even if that moment is uncomfortable. This quote brought a new beauty to being present and not running from whatever is happening.

This one will definitely go in the back pocket.

Yoga vs Stretching

My father challenged me to write a non-biased piece on yoga vs. stretching. Apparently I get quite fired up when people speak of yoga as just "stretching". I truly don't mean to, so if I have ever snarled or cringed when this is said I am very, very sorry. Perhaps the full practice of yoga has become so sacred to me I am tender about it being considered just a stretching practice. It has had a profound impact on my life, and I so rarely think of the flexibility or stretching benefits when I think of yoga.

Here's just a few things I've gained from practicing:

• It has given me space to reflect every day and come back to the simplest essence of who I am- outside of my career, my relationships, etc.... just me at the core.
• It has taught me how to breathe, which in my opinion is the most powerful tool we own.
• It has made me appreciate my body for what it is.
• It has made me a gentler person (at least I hope) and more grateful for the life I have been given.
• It has taught me to not only be grateful for my life, but to show this gratitude by being the best person I can each day and act kindly toward other beings and the earth.
• It has taught me that we are all connected and share in the struggles of life (some way more than others, so perspective is important)
• It has carried me through some of the hardest periods of my life and reminded me to "just breathe".

So, to answer the question as posed by my papa, here goes...

Q: What is the difference between yoga and stretching?

A: Although yoga involves stretching your muscles, it is quite different than the stretches you might do to prepare for running, working out at the gym, etc. Yoga in its entirety also goes far beyond physical practice.

Some key ways yoga is different (note, this is extracted from various articles... my way of removing my bias :)) :

• Yoga places emphasis on alignment, meaning that how you are touching your toes is more important than whether you can actually touch them or not.
• Most yoga poses are not stretching an isolated area, but rather involve the whole body in both stretching and strengthening.
• Yoga involves awareness of the breath. Many styles, such as vinyasa, hatha and ashtanga, use specific breathing techniques and also use breath to guide the movements.
• Asana, or the physical practice of postures, in only one aspect of a yoga practice, albeit the most well-known one these days. Even if you only engage in yoga through asana practice (an excellent place to start), be aware of the eight limbs of yoga. Each limb relates to an aspect of achieving a healthy and fulfilling life, and each builds upon the one before it. Only one of the limbs involves the performance of yoga postures.

Here is a description of the eight limbs (From http://www.about.com/).

1. Yama: Five ethical guidelines regarding moral behavior towards others:
   Nonviolence, Truthfulness, Nonstealing, Nonlust, Noncovetesness
2. Niyama: Five ethical guidelines regarding moral behavior towards oneself:
   Cleanliness, Contentment, Sustained practice, Self study, Surrender to God
3. Asana: Practice of yoga postures.
4. Pranayama: Practice of breathing exercises.
5. Pratyahara: Withdrawal of the senses, meaning that the exterior world is not a distraction from the interior world within oneself.
6. Dharana: Concentration, meaning the ability to focus on something uninterrupted by external or internal distractions.
7. Dhyana: Meditation. Building upon Dharana, the concentration is no longer focused on a single thing but is all encompassing.
8. Samadhi: Bliss. Building upon Dhyana, the transcendence of the self through meditation. The merging of the self with the universe. Sometimes translated as enlightenment.

Weight Management Tips from Amazing Acupuncturist Peter Borton

I received a monthly newsletter from one of my favorite acupuncturists- Peter Borton at http://www.thedragontree.com/- and he has some interesting insights on weight management I thought I would share. The full article can be found at http://www.thedragontree.com/news-a-specials/newsletter.

Excerpts from Peter (more tips in the full article... read the last one here though... the most important!)-

- Get enough sleep (but not too much). Since insufficient sleep is associated with weight gain, make sure you’re getting enough sleep that you feel well rested in the morning. If you tend to feel more groggy after a certain time in bed (usually over 9 hours), you may be oversleeping.

- Don’t skip meals. When you skip meals your metabolism slows down to adjust for the decreased supply of calories. Also, you’re more likely to overeat at your next meal.

- The amount you eat per meal is more significant than your total daily calories. If you eat two meals of 1000 calories each per day (that’s 2000 calories total), you most certainly are supplying your body with more than it can handle at each meal, and the excess will be stored as fat. On the other hand, if you divided those same 2000 calories into four 500-calorie meals spaced out evenly over the day, you are more likely to under-supply your caloric need. Then the body will burn fat for extra energy.

-Allow enough time between meals for the stomach to empty and your body to burn the calories you have consumed. This means at least two and a half hours with no food whatsoever (water is okay). If you tend to get hypoglycemic between meals, trying eating more protein and fewer simple carbohydrates.

- Never microwave anything in a plastic container or plastic wrap; reduce your consumption of foods that come in plastic containers (dry goods in plastic are okay) and cans. Plastic residues in our food may interfere with our hormone function.

- Stay relaxed when you eat. Always eat sitting down, turn off the music, turn off the television, and put down your book or newspaper. It’s a good idea to stay relaxed after eating, too.

-Sugars allow the amino acid tryptophan to enter your brain. There it is converted into serotonin, which elevates our mood. Without adequate carbs, there may not be enough tryptophan entering the brain, and consequently not enough serotonin. This is why some people feel depressed when eating a low carbohydrate diet. This can be addressed by eating slightly more complex carbohydrates (vegetables!, moderate amounts of whole, raw fruits, or small amounts of whole, unrefined, cooked grains) and/or taking supplemental tryptophan (1500 mg twice a day or 3000 mg at bedtime, always taken apart from protein-rich foods).

-Don’t stop eating fats. It’s a good idea to avoid margarine and deep fried foods, since they’re unhealthy, but moderate amounts of animal and vegetable fat supply essential nutrients. They give us energy, support nervous system function, and are useful in promoting satiety. That is, they help us feel full. Most people would feel full - perhaps even bloated - after eating a piece of cheesecake (which has plenty of fat), but meanwhile you could probably drink a glass or two of soda or bottled juice and still eat a meal with it. The soda/juice has no fat, so it doesn’t fill you up much, but it has maybe two-thirds the calories per can as a piece of cheesecake!

- Finally, just because you may prefer a slimmer body, don’t withhold love and approval from yourself. This is like depriving a sick person of medicine because you dislike sickness. Think about how you would treat a loved one with a weight problem. Even if you thought they would fare better with different eating habits or more exercise, would you reject them or stop loving them? You are so much more than the shape of the body you reside in. When you stop loving yourself, the impact on your health can only be negative. Practice a combination of discipline and compassion. You can do it.

MIA

I've been lagging on my blog posts. I've actually been doing a new round of research- my father has asked me to do a piece on yoga vs. stretching, which I am working on. Coming in the next week. I've also got some things brewing with regard to my new health regimen- no sugar, wheat, flour, bad fats or soy... all "bad mood foods". Stay tuned.

I've also been focused on bringing my health back into alignment. Some of my routines got broken in the past couple of years- particularly my yoga practice, working out and eating well. I seem to be back on track, but my goodness does it take a lot of discipline and fighting temptation. So many days I just didn't want to go to the studio or gym. So many moments wanting a "treat." I've been reminding myself every moment how good it feels to stay on course, and how crappy it feels to fall off. That seems to help get me on track. But boy it sure isn't easy.

If you are reading this and trying to dedicate yourself to something health related, my support is with you. Overcoming habits, addictions, lethargy, etc. is not easy. Stay strong! We all have more strength within us than we know... if you hold on tight and keep with your goals (no matter how many tricks your mind plays on you) you will find your strength. I promise. It is there.

Ok, enough with the rant. More substantive updates soon.

Keep well.

Follow Your Heart

I read "The Alchemist" this weekend, a beautiful story about following and listening to one's heart, living in the moment and our place in the world. Three lines in particular stood out to me that I thought I would share....

"When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too"

"No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it."

Re: the fear of pursuing dreams...
"Tell your heart the fear of suffering is worse than suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams..."

Have a great week!